District Noir Review – Business Advice from a Legitimate Businessman

Disclaimer: District Noir was provided for free by Pandasaurus Games, although the writing and opinions of this article are my own.

Shh… This isn’t exactly street-legal, but I got my hands on an early copy of District Noir. The two-player card game where you head one of the city’s largest crime organisations. And for the right price, the game could be yours…

District Noir starts you with a hand of cards. Then you and your opponent take turns placing these cards into a central row. Once per round, instead of placing a card, you can pick up the last five cards placed and coerce them to come to work for you. Removing them from the line, and letting you score them at the end of the game.

After your hand is emptied, and you’ve done your pick-up turn, draw another hand and start a new round. Complete four rounds and it’s all over. Capeesh?

This part of District Noir is simple to understand.

Figuring out how to score points and win, not so much.

You gain points by winning over supporters. The cards in the deck. Each has a value associated with it, and by collecting more of their cards than your opponent you win them over.

For example, if I collected 3 cards of the 5-point supporter, and you only 2. Then I would get 5 points.

This is the card game equivalent of well, not bribing, because as a legitimate businessman, I would never use that word. But let’s say a mutually beneficial transaction where they give you points for your generous contributions to their financial well-being.

Otherwise, there are straight-talking, no-nonsense alliance and betrayal cards that give you points without doing extra legwork. You also gain points for each set of the 4 types of supporters you own as well.

However, there’s a back alleyway to win District Noir as well. Where if one player manages to collect all three city cards from within the deck. Then it’s lights out for their opponent.

This is not a negotiation

Although I played it up at the start of this review, District Noir’s theme is barely there. Not a big surprise, given that this is the third theme this game has had since its initial release. First, it was medieval intrigue, next was a chocolate factory, before finally settling on rival crime lords fighting it out for the streets.

The graphic design of District Noir is stylishly done and great to look at.

It’s the gameplay that doesn’t fit neatly within this noir theme.

As a genre, noir is overly cruel, melancholy and melodramatic. Where the protagonist often meets the consequences of their actions, in a dire and irreversible way. Yet, here there’s none of that in sight.

All District Noir has to offer is fun.

Putting this genre faux pas aside, District Noir surprised me with how much thought it took me to play. Especially, because of its lack of rules, components, and playtime.

Yet, it’s this lack of complexity that allows the game to shine. Although you are just placing cards in a line and picking them up, a silent conversation takes place beneath these actions.

One where you might try and coax the other player to pick up early so that you can play the cards you want later in the round. Or if you see them wanting a specific pickup, you can seed that line with all your betrayal cards to dissuade them.

Since it happens one card at a time, this conversation felt like it was in slow motion. Where each word uttered, or card played, is measured by both players. By the end of the game, you feel connected to the other player in a way few board games allow you to do.

Win the city, win the game

While District Noir isn’t a complex game, but there’s surprisingly a lot going on. Or at least a lot to think about when placing down your card. Including whether or not it will still be there on your next turn.

But the real genius, the real Tony Soprano, behind District Noir is the scoring system. For the majority of the game, you’re essentially battling over collecting the four different types of supporters, and the straight-shooting alliance and betrayal cards.

Yet, it’s the three city cards that are out to ruin your game.

Sometimes unfortunately so.

In most games, you must carefully plan your turns to not let your opponent get all three cards. However, in rare circumstances, your card draw may be so unfortunate that these cards end up going to your opponent without you having much of a say. Although in our games, we never came across this.

Otherwise, don’t let the theme throw you off. District Noir felt very similar to one of my favourite two-player board games, Schotten Totten. Both in terms of gameplay and enjoyment. And by the time I finished my first game, I immediately set it up again to play. But the real testament to District Noir is even now, after a few more games, the excitement and eagerness to play remain.