Schotten Totten Review – Claiming Stones Like It’s Penguin Breeding Season

I fell in love for the first time when I met my wife. The second time was when I learned about IELLO’s mini-games collection. Already housing one of my favourite bluffing games in Welcome to the Dungeon, this collection also has one of my favourite two-player games in Schotten Totten.

Schotten Totten is not only a mouthful to say but is also a battle over nine magical stones. These are placed in a line between you and your opponent.

Using your hand of six cards, on your turn, you’ll add a card to one of these stones. These cards are numbered 1-9 in six different coloured suits. As you place them on the stones, max three per stone, you’re trying to create the most powerful combination you can.

If you’ve played any Poker then these kinds of combinations won’t be too unfamiliar. So, in order of strongest to weakest, these combinations are:

• Colour run: three cards of one colour in numerical order.
• Three of a kind: three cards of the same number.
• Colour: three cards of the same colour.
• Run: three cards in numerical order.
• Sum: the total strength of the three cards.

Now, an exciting element of Schotten Totten is if both players have played three cards to a stone, or if you can prove that the opponent can’t beat your combination, then you win the stone. Claim five stones total or three in a row, and the game is yours.

The perfect combination…

If you think of your butt, let’s say your left cheek represents luck and your right cheek skill. Then Schotten Totten is the pencil that uncomfortably, but perfectly falls down your crack.

Your skill determines the outcome around 80% of the time. But Schotten Totten leaves the door open for luck to both ruin your day and get you out of a tough spot. This means it’s filled with interesting decisions, but still lets a player get luck and take the win.

Compared to a game like Chess where the more skilled player wins 100% of the time. Mixing up the results makes it more palatable, and fun for a non-competitive environment. Truly, it’s a game that you can play with anyone, regardless of skill level.

However, as much as it is about the cards you draw, it’s more about the rocks you place your cards in front of. Throughout the game, you’ll build several combinations. Making sure a good combination doesn’t go to waste goes a long way to victory. But this often leaves you setting up opportunities that you may, or may not be able to take advantage of later.

Soon it becomes a battle, where you must decide where you’re allocating your strongest combinations. And where to hide your weakest ones, or your non-combinations at all. As what usually happens, is you set up a line of possible combinations, waiting for the right card to complete them. Then each card you draw becomes a she loves me, she loves me not moment. With all the suspense, and elation of finding true love.

Frustratingly fun

The gameplay loop of figuring out where to place your cards is satisfying. But it’s equally satisfying to claim stones early. You do this by making connections. For example, if I have a colour run of red 7, 8, 9 and you put down a 1 for the same stone. It’s impossible for you to win that stone. Likewise, if all the other 7 and 8’s are being used elsewhere.

It’s a small deduction element that allows you to make smart plays, and impact your opponent’s game. One big tactical element we’ve yet to talk about is figuring out how to jettison cards you don’t want.

Granted, you’ll hide them under stones you don’t care about. But if your opponent starts claiming stones like a penguin during the breeding season. Then you’re quickly going to run out of places to put cards.

This forces you into a fun kind of frustration, where you need to play cards, but don’t want to. Often when you’re in this place, you’ll make mistakes. But then again, so will your opponent.

By the end, you’ll look one another in the eye and vow to do better next game. Then because it’s so fun, so quick, and so easy to set up, the next game usually happens immediately after.

Otherwise, IELLO has done a wonderful job finding art that matches the fun and vibrant gameplay of Schotten Totten. Making it one of the standout two-player games of my collection, and one I hope to be playing for years to come.