As trashy as Jersey Shore gets, it doesn’t hold a candle to the Greek gods. Zeus, for instance, slept with anyone and anything, and ended up having more babies than a kindergarten. Seriously, once you hit double digits, maybe it’s time to consider a vasectomy? I mean I’m six months into having my first child, and I’m already thinking about it. Anyway, believe it or not this is a review for Santorini, a 2-4 player abstract board game designed by Dr Gordon Hamilton, and published by Roxley and Spin Master.
For this review, it was only played with 2 players as recommended by the rule book.
I fell in love for the first time in my life when I met my wife, the second time I fell in love was when I found out about IELLO’s mini games collection. Within this treasure trove resides Schotten Totten, a two-player card game designed by the renown Reiner Knizia. However, you might know it by another name, as this game is a very similar to the board game Battle Line.
game? It was released to some acclaim and then fell off the face of the Earth. Now, under the watchful eyes of Czech Games Edition, they’ve thrown this board game into a Lazarus pit, and resurrected Tash-Kalar at a price point so good looking that I’d like to take it out to dinner.
If I had a bucket list, seeing a panda would be on it, and it would be crossed off. Fortunately, I got the chance to see them in Japan, and it surprised me that they were exactly as accident prone as the gifs around the internet would have you believe. Coincidentally, Takenoko is a board game about a panda being gifted to Japan, could it be an ancestor of the ones I saw? I want to believe.
Otters can go to hell. These little bastards ruined not one, but two games of Robinson Crusoe for me. That sentence, and the knowledge that this board game comes with a forty page plus manual, should be enough to determine whether you want to continue reading this review.
I can’t swim. I mean, I can swim but I’m really bad at it. In high school I was nicknamed ‘the drowning rat,’ and that was before the school got involved. They had a mandatory swim class which I excused myself from every chance I could – probably explains why I’m so bad. At the end of the semester they awarded certificates based on how well you performed. The best swimmers receiving a Shark certificate, then dolphin, then manta ray, turtle, and so forth. For me, they gave me a Starfish certificate. Let that sink in for a second; starfish don’t even swim! Given all of this, would someone tell me, why the hell I bought a board game based entirely in the ocean?
Two years ago, I went to Japan. It’s an amazing place, but perhaps the greatest thing about the country is the food. Every restaurant we went to was fantastic. Which is why I have a problem with Hanamikoji. I’m meant to be the owner of a Japanese restaurant, but throughout our trip, nowhere did we find a place that served overcooked chicken, cold baked beans, and Vegemite toast.
There’s an allure to what we can’t have. My wife tells me not to buy board games, I double down and buy twice as much and start a review site. I tell you this, so you’ll believe me when I say that while I don’t understand why six people ventured into the forbidden desert without a pilot, engineer, or any sort of backup plan; I sure as hell empathize with them.
