Ever since the Cold War, business has been bad for mad scientists. They can no longer afford the good monsters. Instead they need to retreat to the discount shop, where the monsters are off-brand and half price, and a salesman follows them around the store. How do you do today? Just browsing? No, sorry, we don’t have the Creature from the Black Lagoon, is Swamp Creature OK? It’s more affordable and works in any coloured body of water. Dracula? Last one was sold this morning. A well written review on Campy Creatures? We don’t sell that here, you’ll have to go elsewhere.