Board gaming is a great hobby, and one that I enjoy immensely. However, being so involved and committed has it’s downsides. It means being bothered by things that a regular human being – not you Mark Zuckerburg – wouldn’t. Here’s my top 5.
Riffle Shuffling Cards
Respect other people’s property. It’s a simple rule that most people follow – that is unless it’s my freshly unpacked board game. It’s then that my friends crack out their inner card shark, and the Jaws theme plays in your head.
“Hey guys, watch this.”
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Most people learned how to riffle shuffle from magicians, who I’m sure wouldn’t play poker with that same deck of cards. The way a croupier taught me, is to let the cards fall into place – no bending involved. Anyway, unless you learn this technique correctly, just go hand over hand. Please. I’m begging you.
Out of Stock
There’s nothing like going to KFC and learning they’ve run out of chicken. What the hell? It’s the basis of your entire restaurant! With board games this is becoming less of an issue, but it’s still hard to track down some board games. I have about five different shops that I dance between trying to find the titles I’m after.
This is most notable with new release titles, and really forces me into making impulse purchases I otherwise wouldn’t. At least that’s what I tell myself. Me, board games, and impulse buying have a long and coloured history. However, the biggest contributing factor to this, is finding a game that’s always out of stock.
Friends Not Turning Up
Ok, so normal people, and me at my fifth grade birthday party, can appreciate this one. Nothing is worse than when someone board blocks you. When they say that they’re coming, and you do your pre-game ritual of deciding on games to play, getting the pretzels out, and setting up that first game. Only for them to ring up and complain about getting into a car crash, or learning that their mother just passed away. Seriously, where are these people’s priorities?
Joking aside, there’s an anticipation of having a great and fun night. When it gets ripped away; it sucks.
Talking about board games with people is weird. Board games are great at creating in-jokes and having a good time with one another. However, when I talk to other people about board games, no matter how they respond, it gets awkward.
There’s the I haven’t played anything since Monopoly conversation.
“Oh, so like Monopoly right?”
There’s the I’m a gamer because I’ve played Catan.
“You know about this new game called Settlers of Catan?”
Even the conversation with those who are within the hobby get weird. Because it’s so vast, and there’s so many different genres. It’s hard to pin down a conversation.
“Have you played Altiplano?”
“No, have you played Super Rhino Hero?”
“No, have you played…”
There’s that saying: If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole. I think I’m having an epiphany.
Never Getting to Play All of Your Games
No, I’m not talking about sitting down and playing every game in my collection – although if you have the next month free and will be in Queensland (call me). This is more about my neurotic nature of pulling out way too many games – all the time. It’s a horrible habit I’ve formed where when I’m invited somewhere I will bring board games. When someone asks me to bring a couple, I’ll bring five or ten. When people come over, I have a handful all lined up to play.
The best board game I’ll ever play will always be the next one to hit the table. Therefore, when there are games that go unplayed after a night, I always feel like I’ve failed as a board gamer. I only half did my duties.
Here it is, in all of it’s glory. An objective, and definitive list of the top five worst things about board gaming. If you were to flesh it out to the top 10. What would you add?